Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Midnight thoughts.

Have you ever loved someone
So deep, so true, so undescribeable,
All you ever wanted is to be with him;
To love him, to hold him,
To give him everything he needs.
So much love to share,
And you've become obsessed
He's your drug and you've no cure

Without him, you'll
Live, but damaged

But

Have you ever loved someone
So relentlessly
That you're willing to let him go
To let him find a better lover than you are
To let him find what's the meaning of life
To let him find his way

And to be there
When he needs
To go home

I'm the most comfortable home you ever stayed in
But maybe
I need to let you go to make you realize
There's no home like mine.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Give thanks


It's been awhile since I avoid listen to music and appreciate the silence in the middle of the night.
We're all too busy with noises.
Music, car's honking, his voices.
Once it's silence we're all start panicking...

But man, do I just realize,
How peaceful it is when the midnight comes
It's so quiet, it redeems my head's noises.
And gives me time to rethink for what I've done..
And the ultimate of all,
Gives me time to give thanks.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

the art of letting go.


It's been raining, the whole evening.
I'm drenched to my feet, it's shivering cold but I'm silenced
I've never been this cold;
I've never been this quiet.

Your hand, it's radiating warmth;
But I've got no courage to seek it from you.
Not since you've let me go
Not since you said we need to keep our distance.

I've never been this bitter.

I keep on remembering our happy memories
Your smiles; your kisses; your voices
Those remembrances wrapped up with sorrow;
The kind of memories you cannot let go

I wanted your heart so badly I'll die if I don't have it
I wanted your love so immensely I'll die if I don't feel it

But there are some things, you've got to let go
Sands; winds; you.
But I'm not the kind of person to let something I love go
I'm not the kind of person who
let you go.

Like I said, just before,
I won't let go of your hand unless you let go of mine.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

What to do after breakups.


1. Cry. Cry a lot. You're gonna spend your whole weeks, months, or even years to cry your heart out. Ever had a cry where your physical chest and entire body actually hurt so much? You're gonna have to go through that. That's okay.

2. Spend your time alone. Just bury your head in your pillows for days, eat ice cream by yourself, do anything alone. Enjoy your loneliness; you're gonna get used to it. After that, you'll learn, you are your own best friend.

3. Remember him; that's okay. Go take a look in your pictures; your scrapbook; anything that reminds you of your togetherness. Remember the good things. It's worth to be remembered.

*by this time, you'll realize, that Inside Out the movie is supposed to be a movie for adult. Why? Because this is the time, when you remember good things but it's wrapped up with sadness.

4. Do your favorite things. Interact with another beings; whether it's human or your cats. I find it consoling to play with my adorable cat; before I remembered he's the one who gave me that cat. *brb cry in the corner*.

5. Do anything to make yourself happy. Even when that means you need to find a rebound guy; that's okay. This is a perfect time to be selfish. Make platonic relationship as much as possible.

6. Keep a regular schedule; being busy is the best distraction for your broken heart, Find a job, finish your school, anything. The busier you've become, the faster you'll get better. It needs time, I know.

7. Watch happy videos. Funny animals, anything. I find myself being consoled everytime I watch an audition; America's Got Talent, Britain's Got Talent, anything. I love it when I see someone else's successfull moments. And it gives me a positive vibe, too. That kind of feeling when you know you'll get your life sorted, someday. This is just the time where you dropped all your puzzle pieces and you just need to work it out again. Just keep believing, you're gonna see the complete puzzle as soon as possible.

7. You will find yourself still remembering him, and there's nothing wrong with that. You'll recover but that doesn't mean you'll forget everything.

8. Make other people happy, by giving, or else.

9. Filter yourself from social media. Try to control yourself not to stalk any of his social media accounts. If you see him doing better or even worse, seeing someone else, it's just gonna ruin your whole process and you'll need to start over. No need to waste your time. Just wish him happiness; and don't stalk him EVER.

10. Hope for the best; time is your best and worst friend. Someday you'll look at your past and you'll be surprised on how much you've been going through, and you passed that, and you came out stronger than before.

*I'm still in the phase -1, by the way. The I-won't-move-on phase. Sob.*