Monday, July 31, 2017

Feelings: turned off.

That smile.
And his voice. In my ears. His laugh. Especially when he's laughing because of me.
Echoes in my mind, almost every single second in a day. And do you think I'm happy about that? No, I'm not. It's a torture for me.

I know he belongs to somebody else but I can't help feeling that he's the one for me. Is this wrong, I don't know. My feeling's getting in the way of me trying to find out which one is right and which one isn't. I can't seek for my conscience since it's been buried deep the day I realized I fell in love with this amazing guy.

Do you think I'm praying for him so that we can be together? No.

Everyday I ask God to keep him away from me. Everyday I ask Him to kill these feelings I have; I commit that I don't want to hurt anybody and even if there has to be someone to be hurt that would be me.

And in the end, yes it is. Me.

In the end, I think God's starting to hear my prayer and-
He's starting to drift away.

I know I have to be prepared for this but to be honest I'm not. I won't be.
One amazing guy and I know I'd never be a choice.

It's okay, tho.


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