Thursday, August 10, 2017

He's got this.

At times like this,
The old me would just run into the unknown, crashing into things,
Forcing feelings, and being manipulative.
At times like this, the old me would do anything to achieve things I want to have.
And then, I'd be worn myself out; running out of breath, disappointed at myself, because of things I can't have.
At times like this,
I would be crying; I would be writing so many hurtful poems in anger.

But this time, I realize what a different person I've become.
I feel peace. Content. Glad I don't have to do everything by myself. Glad that I don't have to rely onto my own self, because I don't even believe in my capability to do anything. I'm content with people who keep their distance without warning; if they're supposed to stay, they would stay and I don't have to worry about anything. If they're meant to leave, they're actually just making bigger rooms for better people to come. So I have nothing to lose, actually.

Eventhough, I do feel this: I miss that person. A lot.

But I'm okay. He's with me. He said to me that He's got this. Eventhough I can't see it clearly, I will someday. I have nothing to worry about; I have my Father to rely onto, and He's capable of doing any sort of things. Why should I worry?
Why should I force things?

He'll work it out for me; He's that kind. My Jesus is that kind.

He's got this, and I'm in peace.


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