Sunday, August 6, 2017

My Living Father.

Growing up fatherless, I tend to do everything on my own. Yes, I do have the privilege of being the only child in my family, and my mother is everyone's favorite as well so I cannot say that I wasn't spoiled. My life's easy, yet it's hard at the same time -yes, everything was and is practically paradox for me.
My mom is one wonderful woman, even I don't think I can be as strong as she is. But I was growing up apart from her, and I didn't really know her that well. I spent my childhood with my grandma, and then in my teenage years I lived with my aunt. We tried to mend our relationship, tho, since we only have each other. Meeting her, going home to my humble abode takes a little bit of effort but I don't mind; I never do. She's my everything.
But, when time went a little bit too hard for me, did I realize this: I had nobody to stand up for me. To take care, to nurture, and to educate is a mom's job desc, but to protect the child from any kind of harm, to make sure that the child is safe -it's a dad's job desc. And I thought I had none.
When I was hurt badly I couldn't even bear to survive this life anymore, I had none who could protect me. Who could stand by me; the one I could run into, the one I could tell all my pain and the one who would pick me up and make sure I'm okay. I have no one. My mom couldn't do anything when I told her the complete story; all she could do was crying, and then she hugged me and prayed for me so that I'd survive this life and be healed in time. And I believe she still does pray for me so that I can finally meet someone who will protect me.

And to think about that part again, it actually hurts a lot.

That's when I forgot that I did have a Father. And I still do. Always will.

When He saved me, I know that I'm loved -the moment I decided to open my heart for Him, He opened the heaven for me and the blessings started to come down pouring. He fixed every parts of my life, but the one thing I struggled the most was to completely rely onto Him. Like what I mentioned earlier, I did everything on my own. The only one I could trust, I could rely onto, was myself. And when I made mistakes, I also tend to think that I deserved to get punished. That's how my mind was set by this world.

And then He came into my life, even though I was a Christian since I was a kid.

He broke down every fences that I set around my life. He tore down every walls, He dragged me back to the right path even when it did hurt me a lot. He healed every part of my heart, and He gave me the ability to do things I never thought I could do. I can forgive. I can love. I can smile, I can make people laugh. I can write things; I can do anything because He made it possible for me to do everything.

In no time, I'm healed. Next month, is the 9th month and if the prophecy is right, something great's gonna happen. And since I have my faith in Him, I know it'll happen.

Sometimes it amazes me when I remember that my God is alive. I have a Father, a living Father. He's been protecting me all this time; He took a good care of me even when I looked away from Him. He still loves me no matter how many times I did wrong, above countless mistakes I made He turned it right. My baptismal name -He gave it meaning, even after that horrible decision I made, but that's how His plan over my name can be fulfilled.

He's beyond amazing. And He's alive. My Father's alive.

I'm quite curious about the surprises He already has in store for me. I'm always amazed but I know He will do more. He will always be more.

Because His perfect love cannot be overcome.


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